Some airlines have come up with new "fees" to scam their customers with, such as charging outrageous fees for carry-on luggage. Unknown to the public, a whole new series of "fees" are being planned. This was revealed to me by my secret agent X-9. The new fees being planned are:
1) Turning the restrooms in airplanes into pay toilets. In addition, you will be limited to the amount of toilet paper you can use. If you try to use more than your allotted amount, a sign lights up signalling you to insert more money. The water you need to wash your hands is free, however soap is extra and again, you are allowed to use just so much.
2) When the plane gets into trouble while in flight, a sign goes up instructing you to insert $5.00 or so, for 15 minutes of oxygen. After you insert your money, the oxygen mask pops down. After 14 minutes of use, the sign lights up again instructing you to insert more money before the oxygen is turned off.
3) There will be a $10.00 fee for entering and/or leaving the plane.
4) There will be additional fees for bringing on board your own water, liquids and other consumables.
5) For an additional fee of $25.00 you will be allowed to take a nap while flying.
The good thing is that if the plane crashes and is totally destroyed, all of these fees are refundable to your survivors upon presentation of 15 documents (with pictures) proving you are their next of kin, along with DNA samples.
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